A Real Housewives of Dallas Recap with a Jersey Shore Twist

If you’ve watched the final episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas, you know it was a wild ride, but I can’t help thinking how much more dramatic it would be if it were held on the Jersey Shore.

And before you say “to me” and “Diana, there’s already a Real Housewives of New Jersey,” the new season won’t premiere until tonight. Until then, you can enjoy this round-up of the Real Housewives of Dallas with some revamped themes on Jersey Flare.

The gang (Brandi, Kameron, Kary, D’Andra, Tiffany, and Stephanie) all got on a party bus to Austin dressed as rock stars for Kary’s 50th birthday trip. The girls were rocking tour shirts and Brandi came in dressed up as Elvis BUT you know if this was going to be on the Jersey Shore we would have at least one woman dressed up as Springsteen and one as Bon Jovi. And instead of Austin, they’d all rent houses in LBI.

When the Dallas Wives arrived in Austin, the bus couldn’t become a rental property because it was too big and they were forced to walk half a mile in high heels. That would NEVER, I repeat, NEVER happen here on the Jersey Shore. No. Our fake Jersey Shore women would either ask for transportation or call their husbands to drive them in because we Jersey girls know how to get things done.

Then there was the country-themed dinner where the women played “Chicken S ** t Bingo” (literally ate a chicken until it pooped on a number, and if you got that number you won). There was no way anyone in New Jersey would play that. First off, dinner would be a good old-fashioned pizza night (and not like the one Tiffany had before that episode where she used grilling as a topping) and the ladies would of course be playing LCR!

And finally, the episode peaked when D’Andra and Kary had a blowout at the dining room table (basically, Kary overheard D’Andra calling them a fake, and they were already having problems). That would definitely happen here on the Jersey Shore, but with a lot more big hand movements and cheeky one-liners.

Did you see the last episode of The Real Housewives of Dallas? Did you like my redesigned Jersey Shore version?

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Housewives are rich, but not as rich as the richest person in any state

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