10 Dallas Restaurants That’ll Get You Laid.

Save this list for Valentine’s Day, next year, or whenever you’re comfortable enough to mingle and entertain at some of the sexy restaurants in Dallas.

We hope that with Valentine’s Day approaching, you have your dinner reservations ready and ready for the most romantic day of the year. However, if you’ve read this and haven’t made reservations, it may be too late. It’s almost impossible to get reservations in some of the more famous locations this weekend, according to the Dallas Morning News.

Do not worry! The great thing about this city is that there are plenty of options to try all year round, with or without a date that you might be able to play something.

Eating can be a pretty sexy journey if you get it right and we are here to be your guide. Feel free to check out this article now, next week, or next year if you want to get out of the way in comfort and strut your things.

Now, without further ado, it’s time to put on the Tyrone Davis record and get your freak going – um, read on.

Armory DE (Deep Ellum)

Regardless of your orientation, people love a good, cultured, and adventurous date. If that’s your fancy, Armory is a great hangout where you can find like-minded people looking for something different – and delicious. The Hungarian-inspired late night restaurant has incredible bar fare that is served until the end of each day. This is also a great way to end a date night that may have started as a “drink-only” deal until after a few gin and tonics you realize that your date is actually pretty cool.

Arthur’s Steakhouse (Addison)

We’re not going to ask you about your browsing history, but if you like more sophisticated and mature women, Arthur’s in Addison might be a great option for you. The food, the ambience – okay, we’re not going to screw you. Demographically, Arthur’s is a puma den. This is a great option if a coming-of-age movie like American Pie marked your formative years.

Atwater Alley (Uptown)

If you’re on a date and manage to convince her to follow you down an alley behind Henry, you’ll find a small door with double A stickers on it. Open the door and follow the curved staircase that leads you to Atwater Alley, a sexy and candle-lit speakeasy with curved leather couches specially designed for you. Okay, we can’t confirm the sofas are specifically designed for this, but they could be too. And who wouldn’t want to suck the face of the Wu Tang clan when they play softly in the background?

Bowen House (Uptown)

The Bowen House cocktail bar, also lit by candles, is located in a historic prairie-style house that was built back in 1874. Attractive, tattooed bartenders are just waiting to turn your libation fantasies into reality. Not sure what to order? It’s totally cool – you can ask the staff or turn to the lone ranger on your left. As Bowen House is tucked away in a cozy little building and has a serious cocktail menu, this place is a popular tourist destination if you want to put an international stamp on your “Playboy Pass”.

Cocos Fire & Ice (Bishop Arts District)

If you’re strolling down Bishop Avenue looking for a bit of adventure, look for the Coco’s Fire & Ice sign above the sidewalk. Follow the arrows and it should lead you to a true hidden gem. This Oaxaca-inspired restaurant and mezcal bar has some sexy starters like chapulines and cooked grasshoppers. Now we know what you’re thinking: this is not sexy at all. Maybe not for you, but it is a great way to check a date. Sure, they might be disgusted if you eat dead bugs – if so, drop them. If they’re boring at the dining table, they’re even more boring in bed. On the flip you could be very aroused by your fearlessness and openness that you might happily hop into satin sheets. (Pro tip: grasshoppers taste like sunflower seeds if you’re curious.)

Gloria’s Latin American cuisine (in any location)

This Salvadoran & Tex-Mex chain is the perfect place to start your night and stay there. Trust us, after about two of their famously strong frozen margaritas, you can just relax and go home so you can do what you did once when your partner asked you to do it again last year. Be warned, most locations have a two drink limit for their margaritas. In case you are a little too casual, the wide menu has plenty of super tasty and healthy options to soak up the alcohol.

Lounge here (East Dallas)

You can thank Lounge Here founders Julie Doyle and Tim DeLaughter of Polyphonic Spree for creating such a thoughtfully sexy space. This dimly lit bar appears to be just a conversation pit in the middle of the room. The aesthetic of Casa Linda Hideaway is inspired by the airport lounges of the ’70s, which are pretty retro-chic and if you or your date will appreciate that. Even if your home interior design consists of a garden chair and TV in the middle of an abandoned living room, you can go to the Here lounge and live out your aesthetic fantasies. Beautifully decorated rooms mean you can find beautiful, artistic people – a high quality lounge.

Parliament (uptown)

The interesting thing about Parliament is that given its high status and unusual location on the ground floor of a quiet block of flats, this cocktail bar is a great location to meet some exciting new people. Or a lonely resident who has taken the elevator up a few floors and is looking for company. Get a carefully prepared cocktail and stick around for a while. If you’re lucky, you can spend the night a few floors higher than your night started. It’s about place, place, place!

Sandwich Hag (The Cedars)

Are you looking for someone with a cultural awareness and zero tolerance for bullshit? A socially active baby committed to the cause may appreciate a place like Sandwich Hag – a quirky Vietnamese sandwich shop with a strict “no assholes” policy. (Plus, it’s always hot to doodle in bed with someone who shares the same values.) Trust us when you say your date will be impressed by a trip to one of the most thoughtful, progressive, and open restaurants in Dallas. Say more with less and a sip of salad.

Tei-An (One Arts Plaza)

If you are reading this and believe you can get a reservation here in time for the weekend, bless your heart. We really welcome you for your optimism. Tei-An at Teiichi Sakurai is one of the best Japanese restaurants in town with one of the sexiest atmospheres. The presentation of the dishes, the music and the great staff in black will slowly orchestrate the seduction from start to finish – wherever that may be. While Valentine’s reservations are for a few and prepared people, any other time is perfect for strips of grade 12 Wagyu beef straight into your date’s mouth. We get hot and make the effort just to think about it.

Illustration by Jessi Pereira.

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